Life As Nick Starr

This morning I weighed myself on my official Weight Watchers scale (even though I am not on WW) and this is the weight that popped up… I tried it a few times just to verify and was so insanely happy with the result.

If you remember , I had set a goal for myself to be down from my all time high weight of 220 and started at the beginning of the year to reach 160 by June 14th. It is 25 days before that original goal and I have not only met the goal, but exceeded it.

I am very happy with the results, but am now going to concentrate on toning up. At the gym, I still do primarily cardio, and have stuck to my Atkins meets South Beach diet pretty well over the past few months. There have been obvious slip ups, but overall I am glad I was able to stay on track.

Here is a picture of me last night (ironically I did break my diet last night, but I just really was craving a slice of pizza) waiting for my slice. Then here is a picture of me in December with Ellen at my former company’s Christmas party.

This has got to be one of the most thought out posts I have ever written. I never thought I would be writing this, but here it is…. When I moved to California, I had several agendas for leaving everything and everyone I ever knew. I wanted to be around the tech sector and all of the great people who are involved in the community out here. I enjoy going to all of the great Web 2.0 parties in the area, and I have made some great friends since being here.

I also wanted to find a job where I could feel free to express myself that would be an extension of all of my passions. I took the first job I was offered after moving and was very happy there, but I didn’t like that it was located 25 miles away from the city I drove 3,000 miles to be close to, and that I was living even further outside of San Francisco. I didn’t feel free to come and go as I wanted. Three weeks ago I gave my notice at my previous job providing 3 weeks of lead time for them to find someone to hire, and I could train my replacement before I left.

At the same time, I have accepted a job offer in a field which some may or may not understand. I mentioned earlier, I wanted a job that completely encapsulated what I care about, what I enjoy doing, and who I am. The job is essentially the same as the last company I was with, in that I am managing multiple servers, websites, newsletters, and all of the IT backend. I will also be handling AV aspects of the company, including video streaming, etc. This is a great opportunity to branch out my knowledge and passion for video which I has laid dormant since my high school days.

I really feel that my love of visual media, and love of technology management make this a great move in companies, but there is one other factor which plays into my choice in working for this company. The company is very involved in promoting the messages of safe and consensual sex between men. This is something I harp on daily on other sites where I write. I think the prevention of spreading sexually transmitted diseases is a message that needs to be expressed in the gay/bi/lesbian/straight community. This company provides a safe and secure location, as well as protection for everyone who visit their locations.

They also provide weekly testing and even someone who comes in and will sit down one-on-one to offer advice or someone to just talk to about your concerns. The company works closely with Public Health Departments, Community Based Organizations, county and state HIV/STD officials, the CDC (in U.S.), the research community (UCSF, UIC, CAPS) and many others - to create collaborative relationships which support and expand HIV and STD awareness and testing programs while also maintaining outreach initiatives that are effective, user friendly, and creatively inspired.

This is who I am as a person, and I don’t want to lie or be ashamed about that. Many people have asked me about this in the past, and until now I have been less then upfront and honest, mostly because I was afraid of what others might think. I now honestly don’t care. I have always tried to be a very open person about my life, and don’t know many people who openly admit to living in their car for over a year or any of the other crazy things I have done. I feel that in the spirit of being open and honest that I would like to express that I am bisexual. While I have never had a relationship with a guy, I feel as if I would be ready to if that opportunity presented itself, but likewise the same goes for a woman. I don’t feel as if a person’s sexuality should stop you from caring about someone for who they are.

The company you work for should be an expression of your own passions, and I feel as if I have found one that has truly allowed me use my talents while at the same time not having to hide who I am. I understand that this news might shock some people, and others not so much. I have not said any of this sooner, because up until now I have felt too scared to. Even as I write this I am trembling. Due to the nature of who I am, and based on past experiences, I do not wish to disclose the name of the company which I will be working for, and hope that you can respect this. The company is very reputable and has offices in the US and Canada, which will allow for some travel with the job as well; something I am looking forward to greatly. I will be working in the heart of San Francisco’s Castro district and have found a place to live within walking distance of my new job.

That being said, I appreciate the support of those who have found out this information through various means, you have helped me more then you could know. This is something which is very difficult to do, and I am glad to have such great friends to help me through this time. I look forward to your comments and feel free to drop me a line anytime.

Thanks for listening,

Nick Starr

Wow…I am below 170. I can’t believe it. Sticking to my diet and doing lots of cardio at the gym. I also spent Saturday walking around San Francisco for a good 5-6 hours before the Flickr 4 party. I had a great time at the party (got to meet Stewart Butterfield the founder of Flickr and guy who personally banned FlickrLicio.us from using Flickr to host my Babes of Flickr site), and then at dinner afterward, and then the party across the street after that…needless to say it was a long, but very fun night.

I didn’t even get home till around 4 or so in the morning, and I slept until 2pm the next day. I was so wiped out, I barely made it to the gym, but I did go in and started working on some bench pressing, and other weights. I have been concentrating on cardio as I have/had a lot of fat to lose. I didn’t want to replace the weight with muscle mass yet, but I think I am low enough to start trying to build up some muscles and hope they replace the fat.

I am feeling better about myself, still not where I want to be, and 160 might be a goal that while attainable, might not have me in the shape I would like unless I start to build some muscle mass. I think that my goal should be able to be reached….but getting to where I feel comfortable with my shirt off is a new goal.

Other then that, I’m getting a lot of requests from people asking if I am glad I moved and if I am enjoying the area. The answer is a resounding yes, I am glad I am out here in the San Francisco bay area (besides the weather which is so cold at night and hot during the day). Besides my rough start, it has been all uphill from there.

Until later…buh bye.